I get it, it seems harsh, but the so-called “crazy kitty” behavior might have been a survival trick for our feline friends’ forebears.
The cat’s out of the bag—or should I say, the loony bin? Turns out, a good number of our purring pals might just have a screw loose. And no, it’s not just the chatter among the dog devotees in your neighborhood—it’s scientists spilling the tea!
You don’t have to take their word as gospel though. They cooked up a quirky quiz to clue you in on how cuckoo your cat really is.
This bunch of cat-loving eggheads from the University of Liverpool and Liverpool John Moores University in England penned a paper painting a pretty clear picture. Translate it to human terms and you’ve got a profile of a cold, aloof, sneaky, and not-so-social butterfly. They tallied up tabby traits like meanness, gutsiness, rudeness, anti-pet vibes, and human-hesitation—though back in the day, these traits were the cat’s pajamas.
“It is likely that all cats have an element of psychopathy as it would have once been helpful for their ancestors in terms of acquiring resources, for example food, territory, and mating opportunities” head honcho researcher Rebecca Evans shared, as per Metro.
Makes a lick of sense when you think about it! My cousin’s cat, Harley Earl, tags along every time I trot to the toilet. It’s the last place I want an audience, and it feels a tad wacky, but that’s where his grub is grubbed. Looks like my aunt oughta tackle that quiz!
After diving into three in-depth studies involving over 2,000 cat owners, the brainiacs unveiled a 46-question Cat Triarchic Plus test, designed to dish the dirt on where our fur-buddies land on the psychopathic spectrum.
Here’s a sprinkle of the shiver-inducing cues that’ve bumped up my respect for cat parents a notch:
My cat hums a tune of terror while launching attacks on people/animals
My cat’s got the upper paw (e.g., chases me, lunges at me)
In the presence of other homies (humans, pets), my cat rules the roost in shared spaces (e.g., shoos others off rooms/furniture)
My cat plays peek-a-boo then pounces on people/pets (e.g., from behind doors, nooks, counters)
My cat’s a bundle of jitters (e.g., shifts to “hyperdrive” and flails around)
My cat enjoys a good tease with its prey instead of going in for the kill
For each nudge, cat owners can chip in with their two cents on how well it mirrors their kitty: not at all (1 point); a tad (2 points); somewhat (3 points); quite a bit (4 points); or spot on (5 points). And there’s an “N/A” option for the misfits.
Tucked at the tail-end of the test is a scoring guide where you can tally up each of the five facets—brassy, unrestrained, nasty, pet-averse, and people-shy—to fetch your total Cat Triarchic Plus score.
A score inching towards 5 likely tags your cat as more of a psycho kitty, but hey, no biggie. You’re still gonna adore them. And a decent score in the unrestrained and pet-averse parts hints at a solid bond between you and your whiskered companion, as per the lab coats.
On the flip side, a high marker in the nasty and brassy zones might spell a smidgen of stress in your kitty companionship. But fear not, a batch of homemade kitty nibbles might just mend those fences.