Even though tying the knot might not be as trendy nowadays, most people still want a shot at a lasting love story.

But here’s the twist – thanks to online dating and those speedy dating apps, commitment confusion is on the rise.

It turns out that having a bunch of potential dates at your fingertips makes people hunt for more but feel kinda meh about what they find. Some early research peeps, like D’Angelo & Toma (2017) and Wu & Chiou (2009), say having a boatload of choices can leave daters a bit unsatisfied.

To make things even worse, a kinda alarming study from 2020 suggests that feeling successful on dating apps is linked to a higher chance of sneaky behavior. Yup, people are still swiping even when they’re already in a relationship (Alexopoulos et al., 2020).

Now, showing you’re into commitment is a big deal, especially with all these wild ideas about endless choices flying around.

And here’s the deal – when you start dropping commitment hints matters, especially from the get-go.

Take those early dates, for example. If your date just came out of a long-term thing, keep the chatter focused on the now. Chatting about the future, especially dates way down the road, might be jumping the gun a bit.

A goof many newbies and younger people diving into the dating pool make is trying to slap a label on things way too fast. If you’ve caught Netflix’s “Love on the Spectrum,” you’ve seen this play out, mostly with the guys asking for a serious commitment on the second date, like, “Will you be my girlfriend?” Talk about jumping the gun!

But hold up a sec.

I suggest taking it slow and using some indirect moves in the early stages of dating. Save the official labels for later, after you’ve cruised past the initial courting phase. Check out these three sneaky strategies that might just do the trick.

Move one: Kick those apps to the curb. 

After hanging out for a couple of months or going on 8 to 12 dates, it’s decision time. If you’re still feeling the dating vibes and you’re using a dating app, do yourself a favor – hit that delete button.

No need to hit pause or take a nap on your profiles. Just straight-up delete those apps!

Getting rid of the dating app drama is like clearing the stage for a killer performance in the relationship department. It’s all about focusing on what really matters when you’re trying to make a connection.

And hey, when you kick those apps to the curb, it’s a good idea to clue in your date. Keep it casual, like, “Hey, just so you know, I ditched the dating apps ’cause I’m having a blast hanging out with you.”

Now, if you’re not in the app scene and you’ve been doing the old-school dating dance, you can drop a hint that you’re not juggling anyone else right now. It’s a slick move that shows you’re serious about the person without asking for anything in return. It’s like waving a flag that says, “I’m open to locking it down with you in the future.”

Here’s move number two: Cook up a little trip.

If you’ve been hanging out for more than four months and can picture sticking together for at least another four, why not plan a weekend escape or some other fun thing a month or two down the road? Most dating gigs only go on for about three or four months, so if you’re feeling pretty solid about your bond and thinking ahead, go ahead and make some plans. It’s like sending a low-key message that you’re serious about the person you’re dating. 

Time for move number three: Have a chat.

Just ask the person you’re dating straight up what’s on their mind about the whole relationship thing. Recent studies, even looking at the less seasoned daters, say these talks usually happen when the chance of getting a “no thanks” seems pretty slim (Knopp et al., 2020). Bringing up the commitment topic after throwing out some subtle hints can make the risk of a “no” way lower. And, get this, research shows that couples aiming for commitment are usually cool with spilling the beans about their level of interest when their date brings it up (Tan et al., 2020). Easy as pie, right? 

Throwing these questions into the mix lets the person you’re dating spill the beans at their own comfort level. Plus, it’s a smart move since you can adjust what you share based on their answers, dodging any major awkwardness.

Whether you’re hinting at commitment or just laying it out straight in the dating game, being crystal clear about your feelings and wanting to take things deeper will make you stand out from the wishy-washy crowd.

Not only that, but it’s like having a roadmap for deciding if you should keep sailing on the relationship ship or jump overboard if your goals and commitment vibes don’t match up.

In the sea of confusing new relationships, straight-up talking can be a breath of fresh air. It shows you’re sure of yourself, lays the groundwork for a solid connection, and makes a space where being open and real is not just appreciated but celebrated.